Three men tried to hold up someone withdrawing money from an ATM in Hialeah Gardens early Monday morning, MiamiHerald.com reports. It’s worth noting that the area is generally considered safe because it’s only a block from the police station. The bad guys obviously hadn’t taken that into consideration, as the victim turned out to be an off-duty cop. An armed off-duty cop. Two of the assailants were hospitalized with gunshot wounds, but the cop wasn’t hurt. It’s similar to an incident in Boynton Beach, where an armed homeowner found an intruder hiding in a closet, SunSentinel.com reports. The intruder is recovering at a hospital.

A Lee County post office manager who received a low score from a “mystery shopper” crafted an office cake to illustrate the “poopy day,” abc-7.com reports. And, yes, the cake looked like it sounds. Most people would rather flush it than eat it. Postal employees were not amused. Neither was the Postal Service, which issued an apology to all offended employees.

Dress code, cheerleader outfits conflict

The Seminole County School Board’s tough new dress code has hit a problem: cheerleaders. High school principals decided to continue the tradition of allowing cheerleaders to wear their uniforms to class on game days, even though the new code bans skirts shorter than mid thigh or that are “sexually suggestive,” OrlandoSentinel.com reports. That didn’t sit well with the mother of a non-cheerleader after her daughter was sent home for a skirt. For now, the district is sticking with both the dress code and the exception.

Burglar takes only food, but lots of it

A burglar in Largo bypassed the cash register and the beer at the Pizza Shack to swipe more than $1,000 in food in less than four minutes. He snatched 60 pounds of hamburger, 40 pounds of sausage, 30 pounds of Genoa salami, two hams, 40 pounds of provolone cheese, blocks of American and Swiss cheese, 10 pounds of grated Parmesan cheese, four pounds of butter, three quarts of half-and-half, a gallon of milk and a case of eggs. “A case of eggs is 15 dozen. What do you do with 15 dozen eggs?” owner Darrell Youness wondered.

Snake handlers should be careful

Pythons may be best known for squeezing prey to death, but that isn’t all that an owner should worry about. A Sebastian woman who said she had been caring for her son’s 12-foot albino Burmese python for a year was bitten, TCPalm reports. Even though the python, which was put down by wildlife officials, isn’t poisonous, Kim Bradford was hospitalized. And Jamie DePriest of Tampa was lucky that he could drive himself to St. Joseph’s Hospital after his 18-inch pet Gaboon viper bit him. Unlike the python, the Gaboon viper is venomous. DePriest was still in the hospital recovering several days later.

Robbers get $70 from bra

When a woman in Vero Beach told two armed robbers that she didn’t have any money, one of them reached inside her bra and extracted $70, TCPalm reports. She was sitting in her car when the men approached and demanded her purse. She told them it was in the house. Both robbers covered their faces with T-shirts.